Preparing Your Child for a Hospital Stay

When children hear that they are going to stay overnight in a hospital, they often do not know what to expect. The first step is often to help them to picture what the space will look like.

Parents can help their children to learn about the hospital by:

• watching videos of the hospital, including virtual tours of the rooms

• looking at pictures of the hospital spaces online

• reading social stories based in a child's hospital

• arranging for the child to tour the hospital

Parents can ask children what questions they have about the hospital, and then really listen. Children often wonder about things that adults do not even consider. Parents should answer children's questions truthfully, but not provide more information than the child is requesting to avoid overwhelming them. If a parent does not know, they can assure the child that they will talk with hospital staff to try to find an answer.

Before a child stays in a hospital, parents and providers should help them to know what to expect. Here are some tips to guide that process:

• Talk to the medical team and the Child Life staff, and learn exactly what the child will experience, in what order.

• Tell the child what will happen from beginning to end. Be truthful but reassuring. Focus on what the child will directly experience, and on the details that are most important to that child.

• Read social stories and show pictures from the hospital.

• If you can, visit the hospital and walk the child through the different spaces where they will stay.

• Make sure the child knows who will be with them. Reassure them that someone who cares about them will always be at the hospital. If a parent may need to leave the hospital, try to make sure the child meets and knows the people who will stay with them.

Parents do not need to have these conversations alone! Hospital staff including social workers, psychologists, palliative care providers, and Child Life workers can often help to guide these conversations.

Children do not perceive and understand the world exactly the same as adults. Parents should carefully consider how their child thinks when they decide what to tell them. Here are some tips:

• Young children do not need to know what will happen when they are unconscious. Instead, parents can focus on what will happen when they are awake. Older kids and teens may want to know what will happen when they are unconscious, but adults can give them that choice.

• Kids often worry a lot about details such as:

  • What will they wear? will they have to change clothes? Will they have to take off their underwear?

  • When and what will they eat?

  • Will they have to swallow any medicines that taste yucky?

  • Will they be able to keep a favorite toy with them? What activities will they be able to do, and when?

• Kids need to be prepared for anything that will be on or in their body. Using age-appropriate and neutral language, adults should tell kids if and when they may have devices such as:

  • an IV (a tube in their hand or arm)

  • a catheter (a tube in their penis or vulva)

  • a bandage or cast

  • staples and/or stitches

  • wires, tubes, and/or drains in their abdomen

  • a tube in their nose

  • an oxygen mask

  • a ventilation tube down their throat or through a tracheostomy

• People perceive pain more strongly when they are thinking about it and afraid of it. Adults should try not to focus on pain, but can tell kids that the doctors and nurses will work hard to make sure that the children stay comfortable.

• Curious George Goes to the Hospital, by H.A.Rey

• Daniel Tiger Visits the Hospital, by Alexandra Cassel-Schwartz (email CNPschedulingandquestions@childrens.harvard.edu for your free copy!)

• Franklin Goes to the Hospital, by Paulette Bourgeois

• Getting Ready for my Surgery, by Fei Zheng-Ward

• Going to the Hospital, by Amy Kathleen Pittman

• Going to the Hospital, by Ann Civardi

• Going to the Hospital, by Fred Rogers

• Helping Hospital, by Lindsay Ward

• The Hospital Dog, by Julia Donaldson

• Look Inside a Hospital, by Katie Daynes

• Magic Air: Ten Kid-Sized Steps to Surgery, by Alana Smith

• Maisy Goes to the Hospital, by Lucy Cousins

• A Trip to the Hospital, by Freda Chiu

These videos can help children and their families to prepare for a hospital stay.

Children learn through play. Medical play can help children to feel comfortable with objects and experiences that they will encounter in a hospital before they even walk through the front door. It can give kids a sense of ownership and control in a medical setting, and reduce feelings of fear and helplessness.

Families can ask Child Life staff for real hospital materials for medical play, or they can use objects from a pharmacy or toy store.

Here are some ideas for medical play:

• Blow up hospital gloves to make balloons

• Fill syringes with paint and squirt them onto paper

• Play "hospital" and treat a doll or stuffed animal

• Use glue and tongue depressors to make sculptures

• Use medical tubing to blow bubbles or squirt water

• Make collages with medical tape, stickers, and bandages

• Decorate, cut, and glue hospital robes and gauze to make fun clothes or hats

When children help pack a hospital bag, they can increase their sense of agency and control. They also gain a better sense of what to expect during their hospital stay, and may feel reassured that they will have comfortable and familiar objects around them.

Families should check in with their hospital team to be sure what to bring. Depending on the age of the child and the length of the hospital stay, families may want to pack:

• a comfort item such as a special stuffed animal, doll, pacifier, or blanket

• loose, comfy clothes for varying temperatures, including clothes that open in the front

  • adaptive clothes will have more options for tubes and wires, if needed

• distracting activities (games, crafts, books, videos, puzzles, small toys)

• a computer or tablet

• chargers for all devices

• warm socks

• slippers with solid soles

• flip-flops for the shower

• sound-protecting earmuffs or ear plugs

• headphones

• playlists of music

• a sleeping eye mask

• their own toothbrush and toothpaste

• their preferred body care: face wash, soap or shower gel, shampoo, conditioner

• a hairbrush or comb

• dry shampoo

• twin size sheets

• their own pillow and pillowcase

• a comfy blanket

• a water bottle

Children feel better at the hospital when they have some choice and control. Before going to the hospital, parents and hospital staff can talk to children about their preferences, and about choices they might be able to make. They can help children understand that occasionally adults may not be able to stick with the child's choice, but that they will do the best they can to respect what the child prefers. They can also promise to keep the child informed, and to allow them to share their opinions whenever they want.

Kids can often make choices about decisions such as:

• where and when adults have conversations about their care

• if and how adults ask permission before touching the child's body

• how adults update them about their care and condition

• whether and how adults tell them what they are going to do before they do it

• whether they want to avoid certain sensations

• how they want to take certain medicines, and if/how they want them flavored

• what they wear

• when and what they eat

• where they have an IV or other needle

• where they want to be and how they want to be positioned for procedures like taking vitals and changing IV fluids

• how adults enter their room (knock first? announce their name? be quiet?)

• how their room is decorated

• lights and sounds in the room

Preparing for a hospitalization can bring up big feelings for everyone in the family. Parents should try to take care of themselves and each other, as well as all the children in the family. Therapists can often help both children and adults to feel calmer and more in control. Families can reach out to their care teams to find additional sources of support.

This content was reviewed by a psychologist at Boston Children's Hospital.

Developmental care is best when it is local. Families local to Boston can receive support from the Cardiac Neurodevelopmental Program, Child Life, Spiritual Care, Social Work, and/or the PACT team. Families from other regions can click below to find their care team.